Strange but true

A big juicy hamburger with everything

(Photo: Rob Owen-Wahl, SXC)

A funny thing happened to me yesterday. For a moment, I lost weight.

Don’t think I can’t hear you.  ”No one loses weight just for a moment.”  Well, I beg to differ, although some of you may find it difficult to believe.

My head knows that I’ve lost weight.  In fact, my surgeon says that I’m quite a successful bandster.  Since my surgery, the scale says I’ve lost roughly 50 pounds – a not insignificant loss.

I can see that I’m eating smaller meals.  Even on days that I feel like I’ve eaten like a horse, an objective assessment says that if that’s the case, it’s at least a much smaller horse.  I ate dinner with friends not too long ago, and my ‘appetizer’ would have made 3 meals for me if I hadn’t shared it.

I know that I’m wearing smaller clothes.  It may be TMI, but I had to make a trip to the store last weekend to buy new undies.  That big stack of jeans that I had stashed in the back of the closet?  You know the ones – the jeans that you keep because someday you’re going to be able to wear them again.  Those jeans have been moved to the front of the closet.  Some of them have even gone into the give-away bag because they’re too baggy.

But while my head knows that I’ve lost weight, I haven’t felt the weight loss.  I look in the mirror, and I don’t see anything any different than I’ve seen all along.  I can intellectually accept the idea that my body image was skewed in the first place, so maybe what I’m seeing now is actually what’s there – it’s what I was seeing before that wasn’t right.

But that’s neither here nor there. Because yesterday, just for a moment, when I looked in the mirror, I could see that there’s a difference.  I looked at a recent picture, and there was a moment of ‘Hey, you look different – that’s what your friends are talking about.’

It didn’t last for very long.  Today I got out of the shower, and found myself focused on my chubby knees, my round butt and that really annoying bit of extra belly above my waistline.  But yesterday, I lost weight.

Things I never thought I would say….

“I completely forgot to eat.”

Now, these words are absolutely in my vocabulary.  Just not in this particular order.  Eating has never been something that I have forgotten to do.  I have actually in the past threatened to hurt anyone who utters this sentence in my presence.

But today, I actually managed it.  I got up, had my morning coffee, fixed a nice scrambled egg and some bacon for a protein-packed breakfast, and then started putzing around the house.  The usual weekend stuff – a little laundry, trying to get reasonably caught up on my writing, and an apparently never-to-be-finished effort at sorting out the disaster area that is my closet.

And before I knew it, it was 3 o’clock.  I noticed how late it was not because I got hungry, but because I finally looked at the clock.

Maybe I’ve finally hit what I still believe is a largely mythical location – the ‘sweet spot.’  This is the lap-band equivalent of Nirvana.   In theory,  you will find the ultimate level of restriction (whether that’s sooner or later is another issue).  At that point, you can eat reasonably normally but with vastly smaller portion sizes.  Between meal hunger is banished, and the weight just melts away.

Bullpuckey.  (I’m trying to be nice.)

I know there are people that think that the lap-band is some sort of magic gimmick that makes losing weight a breeze.  This would be people that don’t have a lap-band.  (In fact, as near as I can tell, the only people who think losing weight is a breeze are people that have never needed to lose weight.)

But still, I’m pretty impressed with any day that hungry is an afterthought.

And diet season begins

The family feast

(Photo: John Herschell, CC2.0 license)

Ah, what a wonderful time of year. No, not winter, or the holidays. I’m talking about diet season.

You know what I mean. It happens every year. From Thanksgiving through Christmas, it’s one long feast. Every other commercial on TV is blasting us with a vision of happy families and long tables loaded with beautiful (and high-calorie) treats.

But get past Christmas, and what happens? The lovely images of blissful families gathered around the table disappear, and are replaced by a cornucopia of promises – promises to make you thin and beautiful. In just a couple of hours this morning, I saw commercials for a local weight loss surgery clinic, Dexatrim, NutriSystem, Weight Watchers, the ‘full bar,’ and a couple of others that I’ve already forgotten.

Everyone feels fat on New Year’s Day, don’t they?

For me, today is a nice change from New Year’s past. Yes, I still feel fat. And yes, I still am thinking about losing weight, making healthy food choices, exercising more, and maybe even fitting into a much smaller pair of pants.

But I’m not sitting here obsessing about which of those commercials I should pay attention to. I’m not wondering if I can maybe combine the pills with the special diet food with the magic weight loss trick to speed up the process – you know, just for a little while at first, so I can get started, because I just know that if I could lose that first 5/10/15/20 pounds, my willpower would kick in and I’d be OK.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can relax this year. Yes, there’s still plenty of work ahead of me, but in a way, the hard part is behind me. The decisions have been made and the course set. All I have to do now is navigate it.

Of course, no one ever said navigation was easy, did they?